So. I wasn’t accepted at Specific College. Sob sob, “Oh, boo hoo, get over it,” I says to myself. “You have a paper to write, a movie to finish, and a show to watch. And you wanted to go to This College and That College more than Specific College, amiright?”
"Very right," I says back to meself. "But the agreement was that if you were accepted at Specific College, you would get a hermit crab."
"Oh. I hadn’t thought of that."
"So you’re not getting a hermit crab. Or any other pet, really, for the next few years because you couldn’t even get a pity hermit crab."